Sunday evening - pretty much my favorite day all year (end of Daylight Savings :-).

Not much happening that is terribly variable or interesting - the kids stay busy with their friends, activities and 'stuff' (football game this week - Justin played in Pep Band, Kailin and friends watched. Justin went to visit a Haunted House for Scouts this week, Kailin's group carved Jack-o-lanterns, Justin dressed up and went to the Ward Halloween party, Kailin went to a friend's sleepover). Ed left for Orlando yesterday. He's starting in on another travel regimen for the next couple of months - Orlando, NC, Australia, India... Lots of frequent flier miles. That part is good. The part about *me* getting to drive for 6am early-morning seminary is not so good, but I can't complain - I've had to do it very little this year thus far.

I've been hanging close to home and trying to make more progress on these board books. Trying to get sketches for both finished so that I can email them off and get them approved. Also am producing flyers for my classes at Arts Umbrella - need to drop those off tomorrow (if you want to see my little write-up on the Arts Umbrella site, click here).

Am also slowed down by sore throat/coughing fits at night - making it hard to sleep (for Ed as well. I suspect he is happy to have a hotel room to himself at the moment). It is a strange one - and not responding to my usual herbal regimens. It's getting a little better, but I feel I'm working at about half-speed.

Thanks for the audio book recommendations. I have placed holds at the library, but there is a substantial queue - we'll see how long it takes to get them. In the meantime, I picked up some Terry Pratchet and Phillip Pullman to tide me over.

It is cooler out all the time - but still sunny about half the time. The unfortunate news in the garden - I went to check the status of my fennel plant - I had hoped to harvest a number of seeds. Unfortunately, I hadn't let it flower until late in the season (because it was next to my dill which had already flowered - and they apparently cross-pollinate, which I didn't want - so I kept picking off the flower heads) - and it's apparently too cool for the bees now - so it's flowering, but not going to seed... Next year, i will plant the dill far, far away. My pineapple sage is just now flowering as well (it's nearly November!!). Dont' 'know why it took so long, the tangerine sage has been blossoming since July. It is HUGE though - over six feet tall and nearly as wide. Unfortunately again, these are tender perennials, and generally don't survive the frost that we get here. It is late and cool enough that I am pulling up the last of the zucchini plants this week. The rogue roses are going to go as well... I kept waiting for a place to put them, but there is not really good place, and they are not healthy enough for me to want to bother with them... That will be my token yard work this week. Oh - and Suzy is going to hopefully be bringing me another truckload of manure to unload. I do want to topdress most everything before the end of November.

There's an equally busy, yet uneventful week awaiting me...

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness."

Dr. Robert Muller
Chancellor Emeritus of the University for Peace of the United Nations


"Happiness is to be found along the way, not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it is too late. Today, this hour, this minute is the day, the hour, the minute for each of us to sense the fact that life is good, with all of its trials and troubles, and perhaps more interesting because of them."

Robert R. Updegraff
Author of "Be Thankful For Your Troubles"


"God has known you individually, brethren, for a long, long time (see D&C 93:23). He has loved you for a long, long time. He not only knows the names of all the stars (see Psalm 147:4; Isaiah 40:26); He knows your names and all your heartaches and your joys! By the way, you have never seen an immortal star; they finally expire. But seated by you tonight are immortal individuals--imperfect but who are, nevertheless, 'trying to be like Jesus'!"

Elder Neal A. Maxwell

I *knew* there was a word for this!

velleity (vuh-LEE-i-tee) noun

Volition at its faintest.

"Finally, a word to describe a few of those things we can't wait to do: filling out tax forms, for example.

Velleity is volition at its weakest. It's a mere wish or inclination, without any accompanying effort. But who could tell just by looking at the word?

So next time you're late in filing your tax return and the tax department sends a reminder, just send them a polite letter vouching for your velleity. The taxman will think the check is coming soon and you've been completely forthright."

The Wisdom of Cocooning

Inspired by The Legacy of Luna, by Julia Butterfly Hill (Harper SanFrancisco, 2000).

Through life's trials and hardships we arise beautiful and free.
--Julia Butterfly Hill

Throughout her life, butterflies have appeared to Julia Butterfly Hill in times of need, sometimes in reality and sometimes in dreams and visions. For Julia--as for so many of us--the butterfly has became a symbol of transformation.

We can all internalize the process of the butterfly, which is really about understanding--and then letting go of--our attachments. What does the cocoon have to do with it? Why are times of cocooning so important, even though our culture urges us to produce endlessly without respite?

Lessons the butterfly holds for us:

"True transformation occurs only when we can look at ourselves squarely and face our attachments and inner demons, free from the buzz of commercial distraction and false social realities. We have to retreat into our own cocoons and come face-to-face with who we are. We have to turn toward our own inner darkness. For only by abandoning its attachments and facing the darkness does the caterpillar's body begin to spread out and its light, beautiful wings begin to form.

"Even then, the caterpillar must shed one last attachment--to the dark cramped space it has gotten used to--and begin breaking through the barrier of self in which it has wrapped itself. It doesn't have a clue what lies beyond, but it responds to this higher calling anyway.

"Similarly, only once we let go of all we know, including all our self-centered concerns, and break free of the cocoons we spin around ourselves to shut out the word can we become the truly beautiful beings we are meant to be."

I am spending many hours in the studio, and am almost finished with the not-really-great Michael Crichton book on tape. I would like to listen to some GOOD books and am blanking out about what books on my to-read list....

My library won't have church books (drat) - but what else should I not miss?

A Simple Formula for Life's Choices
---------------------------------------------------

"May I leave with you today a simple yet far-reaching formula to guide you in the choices of life:

"Fill your minds with truth.

"Fill your hearts with love.

"Fill your lives with service.

"By doing so, may we one day hear the plaudit from our Lord and Savior, 'Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord' (Matthew 25:23)."

President Thomas S. Monson


"When we can begin to take our failures seriously, it means we are ceasing to be afraid of them. It is of immense importance to learn to laugh at ourselves."

Katherine Mansfield
1888-1923, Author

It's not from Robert Millet - but was a funny quote from my favorite online journal - talking about the potential release date of Neil Gaiman's and Dave McKean's movie:

Hi Neil. Just thought you might like to know Amazon has the release date for the DVD release of Mirrormask listed for December 31st 2025. And we thought we had a long wait for theatre release.

Cheers, Jon A.

I went and checked at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BT97AO/002-4249447-7730454 and Jon is quite right. Twenty years seems a long way away, but Sony are probably just scheduling it that far off because during the Great iPod Content Uprising Years of 2013-2024 people aren't going to have much time for things like actually watching films, what with gathering together in places where the iPodPeople can't get them and shooting them in the brain and all that stuff, and it's only after the Man-Droid-iPod Peace Treaties of 2024 that anyone gets back to the serious business bringing out DVDs of long-forgotten movies.

Alternately, I suppose it could be an Amazon.com typo and MirrorMask could be coming out on the last day of this year. That would be nice.

"We were sent into the world to live to the full everything that awakens within us and everything that comes towards us. Real divinity has a passionate instinct for creativity and the fully inhabited life--the greatest sin of all is the unlived life."

--John O'Donohue


"Each of us should remember that he or she is a son or daughter of God, endowed with faith, gifted with courage, and guided by prayer. Our eternal destiny is before us. . . .

"At times many of us let that enemy of achievement--even the culprit 'self-defeat'--dwarf our aspirations, smother our dreams, cloud our vision, and impair our lives. The enemy's voice whispers in our ears, 'You can't do it.' 'You're too young.' 'You're too old.' 'You're nobody.' This is when we remember that we are created in the image of God. Reflection on this truth provides a profound sense of strength and power."

President Thomas S. Monson

Sounds like nobody should tell us that we 'can't'! I have a couple of things I wanted to quote from this latest Robert Millet book I'm reading - maybe later today.

Cloudy, sunny, temperate, cool. We had it all through out the day.

I slept in a bit - started with a dry-ish cough last night and didn't sleep so well. Drank 'throat-ease' tea. Did some breakfast dishes by hand (the dishwasher has given up. Again.) Swept and vacuumed the upstairs and did a couple of loads of laundry. There. Token housework.

Sent a few emails, ate lunch whilst reading an "Ireland of the Welcomes" magazine (artist's colonies in County Clare! WooHoo! When do I get a turn?). Can you tell I'm procrastinating a bit?

FINALLY started work in the studio. I'm trying to get rough-comps completely finished this week. This is still probably not fast enough. I've emailed requesting dates and deadlines (that always helps), but I haven't heard back yet. Listened to a bunch of the Book of Mormon - then moved on to a Michael Crichton book-on-tape. ("Prey". Interesting concept - rather draggy novel so far. VERY passive main-male voice - which tends to be maddening. To me at least.) Also listening to some hard-core Celtic music when I'm at a design point where I can't focus on talking tapes. I am really missing!? all things Ireland/Scotland right now. Wonder why that comes up - in waves - at times so very strongly? Chatted with the kids about their day as they came home. Adventures in schooling... Both feel like they're doing well - even in their tougher classes. Hurrah.

Took a break to broil some salmon for dinner. Then we all got ready to go see the new "Work and the Glory" for FHE. Not bad. I really like the actor that they have playing Joseph Smith (and in fact, way more of the movie is told from his point of view than I would have thought - or remember from the books. But, it's been a long time since I read them). There are so many hard and frustrating things that happen through this period in church history. Not so fun to watch... [Ed. note! I just saw a horrific commericial featuring John Lithgow singing and dancing about ...soup! I watched with mouth agape, waiting for some sort of punchline - but NO - it just continued on with lights and flourishes and very bad, cringeworthy rhymes...] Very nice soundtrack. Ed was tickled when reading the ending credits - he recognized a number of people on the production team. I think that made the movie for him.

I'm trying to squeeze in reading a bit of Sheri Dew's new book "If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard" and Robert Millet's "Are We There Yet"? Both good, but thus far, I've heard a lot of the material in the Millet book before.

MUST go work more... Am wanting chocolate - sort of. I've actually had enough, so that I don't really want to eat anymore - so I can't figure out exactly WHAT I'm craving. Besides the west coast of Ireland and Scotland, that is...

"I am responsible for my own well-being, my own happiness. The choices and decisions I make regarding my life directly influence the quality of my days."

Kathleen Andrus
Author


However, this one bears repeating again!

"In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike--and they will--you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed."

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland


And this one is for Lou Ann:

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

-Robert Frost, poet (1874-1963)

Time passes quickly. Many things juggled. Lots of errands run. Enrichment night. Justin's first band concert of the year. Painting day. Doctor visits. Critique group. Trying to get some progress made on these board books. Thrift store shopping with Justin for 'dress-up' clothes. Tues. evening Kailin and I went to the late show to see "Just Like Heaven" - the only time we could see it before it left theaters this week. Was cute - we were the only ones in the theater - so got to sit anywhere we wanted, laugh and chat through it. We didn't see ANYONE when we left - the whole place looked deserted which kindof freaked Kailin out a little.

Discovered a new illustrator that I really like, named Helen Ward. She lives in England and does beautifully designed and illustrated books. Especially her version of Aesop's Fables. If you can get that one from the library, it's worth a look.

The kids didn't have school today - and it was gorgeous - a true Indian summer day. We did a bit more shopping - went to Deseret Book, a costume shop (Justin wanted a Fedora. He loves hats), Jamba Juice and pumpkin shopping... Did a bit of work in the yard, it was so gorgeous out. Pulled out the powdery mildewy squashes, cucumbers and the wilting tomatoes. Did a bit of weeding and cleanup and had Justin mow the lawn. Lots of babies out there... The ones that I recognize as weeds, I pull. Some are winter lettuces - so we'll how much they grow. Some are mysteries and I'm unsure what to do with them. There are thousands.

Made myself pay bills this evening. Blech. Getting very familiar with the "On Demand" feature on our cable - there's a number of shows you can watch at any time. Found that they have episodes from the Fourth season of "Monarch of the Glen" from BBC America (Netflix only had 3). They also have a number of eps from Adult Swim (Cartoon Network's late-night anime). Free movies. Movie previews from things currently or soon-to-be in theaters. I guess if I need to be down here working... Mostly, I need to be here working on these books...

Friday, I went to Country Village - to see the new location for Arts Umbrella (where I am to be teaching). It's a lovely location - just off of a very pretty courtyard with arches, a fountain, benches and a bunch of growing things. Chickens and ducks abound. There's a used book store on one side, and a tea shop on the other. Too good. I haven't been to this shopping place for a couple of years, and many of the stores have changed. Visited an amazing 'wool' shop, where they spin their own yarn, teach how to knit and crochet and sell amazing yarns. Galleries, gift shops, a glass blowing shop, there was even a fairy shop (I asked if they were interested in wings, masks and hats, and I believe they are). Found a fabulous garden shop which I wanted some of most of what they carried (neat tools, plant labels, many garden decorative items...).

The kids both attended the Homecoming football game - in the pouring rain. I picked up Kailin early - she needed to get to bed before too late because she had an early, and long day planned for Saturday -

She had to be at the school at 6:45 am to be driven down to Olympia for the first-ever, Washington Junior All-State Band concert. She had auditioned last year, and was one of 8 seventh-grade french horn players that was chosen out of the state. Her band teacher was VERY proud - he had 3 students make it - more than any other school he was aware of. He drove them down, and we joined them closer to concert time. We got to hear the all-state orchestra and then the band. They did a pretty good job - for having to be up so early, and practicing for 6 hours straight (for the first and only time - putting it all together) and then performing.

Took Kailin out to eat to celebrate afterwards. She chose "Claim Jumper", even with the long, weekend wait. She and Ed got gargantuan steaks. :-) Kailin just fell into bed.

Sunday was our stake conference. We had an 'experimental' session - where most of it was broadcast from SLC to all the stakes in Washington simultaneously. We heard from our area 70 (Elder Cook and his wife), a member of the Presidency of the 70 (Elder Oaks and his wife - he was out stake president when we were still in Pittsburgh), the General Young Women's President and Elder Russell M. Nelson. Good talks all. It felt a little funny - we were in the stake center, watching the speakers up there on the big screen - just like General Conference - but they kept making Washington State references. :-)

Am now trying to make headway on these boardbooks... It'll help when I get a hard deadline - and get the design and compositions nailed down. I'm alternating listening to the Book of Mormon, "Iron John" and Christmas CDs. Occasionally can watch a DVD on the computer (Ross - Wolf's Rain is getting a bit more interesting, although it is still stretched out far longer than needful.. Subtitles still hilarious).

Antidotes to Despair

By Cait Johnson, author of Earth, Water, Fire, and Air (SkyLight Paths, 2003).

Just as the flood waters from Katrina and Rita recede, a massive earthquake hits Pakistan and the loss of life is so great I can't quite take it in. Everyone is talking about the possibility of a pandemic. And there is the ever-present threat of terrorism: nothing feels safe anymore. When I look around, it's hard not to feel overwhelmed with despair--fear and suffering are everywhere. But getting bogged down in depression at the plight of the world makes me feel too limp and discouraged to do anything, which doesn't help anyone.

So I've been collecting a few antidotes to the overwhelm. They're not in any particular order of importance or preference, but I offer them with hopes that they'll help. And I would love to hear what you do to keep from falling into the bog of despair. We all need to keep our spirits up as much as we possibly can.

1. Take action. Helplessness is terrible, so I try to take some kind of action whenever I can, no matter how small. When I give my paltry sum to Mercy Corps (I'm a single mom with a son in college and times are tight) or sign a petition or gather with my community at a street-corner peace rally, I feel like I've helped a little, even if it's only a drop in the bucket. But small drops do add up.

2. Be grateful. Last night a friend told me, "I'm happy right now but I feel guilty for feeling happy when there is so much suffering." But if the circumstances of your life bring you joy, I say be grateful! Believe that your joy might help to lighten the darkness.

3. Connect with the Great Mystery. We all have different names for it--some call it God, or Goddess, Allah, or the Great Spirit, but it's bigger than we are. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "I am convinced that the universe is under the control of a loving purpose. . . . Behind the harsh appearance of the world there is a benign power." Praying or lighting a candle are ancient, time-honored ways to connect with it.

4. Spend time in nature. For me, being outdoors is a great solace because it reminds me that, no matter what is happening for human beings, the seasons keep on turning, birds sing, the lake reflects the clouds. Just becoming conscious of these eternal truths brings a measure of peace to my heart. And taking time to notice, to be fully present and mindful of some beautiful place in nature, is a wonderful healing for despair. Which leads me to--

5. Take time for mindfulness, simply being present. It's great to do this in a beautiful outdoor spot, but you can achieve similar results just sitting with a cup of tea, or even brushing your teeth. When we slow down enough to just be there, to be open and soft and present, something peaceful happens inside us.

6. Trust. At a workshop I went to recently, a presenter's speech about living wills and health-care proxies sent the entire room full of people into a tailspin of panic and doubt and confusion (at least partly because we were facing the reality of our own deaths). Finally, one woman spoke up and said, "I have to believe that my Higher Self will create just the right circumstances for my dying. That whatever it is, it will be what is right for me." The peace and trust in her voice calmed everyone down in a way that was almost miraculous. Yes, we want to take the right steps to protect ourselves, but trust is a great gift.

7. Love. Be good to the people near you. Hug your children. Tell them you love them. Do something kind for someone just because you can. We are all part of the human family and perhaps we are brought here simply to love, despite the fear and suffering. It is an act of tremendous gallantry to love in the face of loss, but we can all find that kind of courage in our hearts.

"Imagination is the organ that receives meanings for the spiritual and aesthetic world and forms them into an inner image that can be held in memory and made the object of thought and reasoning. . . Imaginative work is the legitimate path of religious inspiration, revelation, and experience."

--Robert A. Johnson

Peace Pilgrim's Four Relinquishments

Adapted from Steps Toward Inner Peace, by Peace Pilgrim (www.peacepilgrim.org)

From 1953 to 1981 a silver haired woman calling herself only "Peace Pilgrim" walked more than 25,000 miles on a personal pilgrimage for peace. Her story is an inspiration. In her early life she says she made two very important discoveries. In the first place she discovered that making money was easy. In the second placed she discovered that making money and spending it foolishly was completely meaningless.

It was out of a very deep seeking for a meaningful way of life, and after having walked all one night through the woods, that she came to know what came to be a very important step--the complete willingness, without any reservations, to give her life, to dedicate her life, to service. After that, she says, you can never go back to completely self-centered living.

The Peace Pilgrim's "Four Relinquishments," are part of how she learned to live to give what she could instead of get what she could, and she entered what she believes was a new and wonderful world:

1. Relinquishment of self-will
You have, or it's as though you have, two selves: the lower self that usually governs you selfishly, and the higher self which stands ready to use you gloriously. You must subordinate the lower self by refraining from doing the not-good things you are motivated toward, not suppressing them but transforming them so that the higher self can take over your life.

2. Relinquishment of the feeling of separateness
All of us, all over the world, are cells in the body of humanity. You are not separate from your fellow humans, and you cannot find harmony for yourself alone. You can only find harmony when you realize the oneness of all and work for the good of all.

3. Relinquishment of attachments
Only when you have relinquished all attachments can you be really free. Material things are here for use, and anything you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its usefulness possesses you. You can only live in harmony with your fellow humans if you have no feeling that you possess them, and therefore do not try to run their lives.

4. Relinquishment of all negative feelings
Work on relinquishing negative feelings. If you live in the present moment, which is really the only moment you have to live, you will be less apt to worry. If you realize that those who do mean things are psychologically ill, your feelings of anger will turn to feelings of pity. If you recognized that all of your inner hurts are caused by your own wrong actions or your own wrong reactions or your own wrong inaction, then you will stop hurting yourself.

Stumbled across this website today, and knowing some of your interest in near-death experiences... Some very interesting things there.

"Emancipation from the bondage of the soil is no freedom for the tree."

-Rabindranath Tagore, philosopher, author, songwriter, painter, educator,
composer, Nobel laureate (1861-1941)

I'm thinking of Lou Ann's Founding Father's quotes. I think we NEED anchors! But not just any anchor...

"In a world of unrest and fear, political turmoil and moral drift, I testify that Jesus is the Christ--that He is the living Bread and living Water--still, yet, and always the great Shield of safetyin our lives, the mighty Stone of Israel, the Anchor of this His living Church. I testify of His prophets, seers, and revelators, who constitute the ongoing foundation of that Church and bear witness that such offices and such oracles are at work now, under the guidance of the Savior of us all, in and for our very needful day."

Jeffrey R. Holland

Pretty day today. It has been very *fall* this week - grey, rainy, I even had to turn on the heat.

I've been working daily on these new books. Going OK. Would like stonger compositions on these pages. Will keep at it. Hope I get a deadline/dates for them soon. (Ross - watched the first installment of "Wolf's Rain" finally. Liked it OK. But there are many, many episodes and so not much has happened yet. It might take too long to get compelling. Will give it a bit longer). I've been listening to "Iron John" by Robert Bly whilst working. VERY interesting stuff! And 'teaching' through using mythology and/or fairy tales really works for me!

Painting day at Suzy's. We work in her new studio now. She's finished tiling the floor with beautiful, hand-fused-glass, accent squares... She never ceases to amaze me. Got some good feedback.

Took Justin to piano lessons - he's still focusing on hymns for the majority of his practice time.

Got a bit of work in the yard done - since it wasn't raining. Had Justin mow the lawn while I put creeping thyme starts outside the back door patio. Lemon, mother-of, and wooly thyme. Dug up a bunch of creeping oregano and potted it to give it away. It is mild and yummy, but fairly invasive. It works great in pots. Also transplanted the sweet woodruff to the front - where the ivy was - right outside the front door. That will be nice when it fills in. I want to give some sweet violets (the only variety that is fragrant) to put underneath the camellia. Apparently, you can only smell them for a few minutes - after a few sniffs, your olfactory glands shut down for a bit (might be nice to carry a nosegay of them around if you're going to be at the dump or something. :-) Still waiting for my next shipment of manure, and then I will put in the grapes, high-bush cranberry and quince, and unless Ed gets to my fence and arbor put in soon, that will probably be it for the season, beyond pulling things up as they fade... Want to re-layout my herbs and veggies for next spring - to be more shade and sun specific. Have time for that this winter...

Pan-fried some trout for dinner. We all like those! Brown rice mixture, spinach salad and broccoli. My favorite kinds of dinners.

Attended a meeting at the high school last night giving information about Justin's Honors Humanities class' optional 'fieldtrip' to Italy and Greece in the spring... Sounds fabulous. 10 days between Rome, Florence and a couple of Greece locations... Justin thinks it sounds fun, but is a bit nervous about international travel (Erin ought to write him a pep-talk letter!). He's also in deliberations regarding attending Homecoming next week. Being 16...

Rain is supposed to return tomorrow...

"Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires...courage."

Ralph Waldo Emerson
1803-1882, Poet and Essayist

X-Ray Vision of the Spirit

Adapted from Field Notes on the Compassionate Life, by Marc Ian Barasch (Rodale, 2005).

A friend of the author's works as a counselor to the obdurate, lethal men at Arkansas's infamous Tucker Max prison. She's well aware that most people look at her clients and see only dregs--"ugly, toothless hulks," as she puts it--but she claims she can only see "radiant bulbs with these big lampshades blocking the light. I know they're supposed to be ?untreatable psychopaths,' but I feel like, Oh, take that fright-mask off! It could come off in two seconds!" It sounds absurd, but she is remarkably successful. In her presence, the toughest nuts crack wide-open; even their wary, death-row warders let down their guards and cry. She has an x-ray vision that goes straight to the human core.

Could you develop this x-ray vision of the soul?

"It's like there's this horribly thick suit of armor," the author's friend explains to him, trying to make him see it through her eyes, "and I know someone's trapped inside, so how do I get them out?" He asks her why she even bothers. "The joy!" she says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Just the joy of being with people when they show up as they really are."

If we can't see who people really are, say possessors of the Good Eye, it's just our ordinary eye playing tricks on us, focusing on differences and defects, blind to deeper connection. If we mistake each other for strangers, it's just blurry vision. As with the rearview mirror that cautions Objects May Be Closer Than They Appear, we might be closer, much closer than we think.

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."

Charles Dickens
1812-1870, Novelist



"We need strength beyond ourselves to keep the commandments in whatever circumstance life brings to us. For some it may be poverty, but for others it may be prosperity. It may be the ravages of age or the exuberance of youth. The combination of trials and their duration are as varied as are the children of our Heavenly Father. No two are alike. But what is being tested is the same, at all times in our lives and for every person: will we do whatsoever the Lord our God will command us?"

Elder Henry B. Eyring

"Political freedom cannot exist in any land where religion controls the state, and religious freedom cannot exist in any land where the state controls religion."

-Samuel James Ervin Jr., lawyer, judge, and senator
(1896-1985)

Stayed busy from the minute I got up... Kailin went off to youth symphony practice - Ed and Justin went off to Stake Choir practice.

I discovered that Jack had eaten the eight mini-loaves of banana bread that I had left on the counter to cool last night... Argh... They were the ones that were made with white flour and sugar. I had also made a big loaf with xylitol and spelt flour - which he nibbled on but didn't seem to like as much as left for me. Darn dog.

Did some major cleaning of closets and things. Then harvested the last of the basil and anise hyssop. Hung some horehound and savory to dry. Made basil and anise hyssop jelly and syrups. I thought anise hyssop was my favorite but put some cloves in the basil and it is amazing!! That's it for jelly for me this fall. Might make another flavor or so of syrup, but not at the moment...

THEN went into dinner mode. Missionaries were coming over. Had leftover ham so made a ham and potato and cheese casserole (which I couldn't eat). The nice discovery was how great the slicing tool on our new Bosche works so that went very well.. Got Kailin to make biscuits from scratch. She's getting pretty good at the baking thing.

Justin got dressed up for his dance tonight - he's discovered Ed's trench coat and thinks it's very cool. Along with Ed's felt fedora... He's a goof.

Finished sketches on the logo job and emailed those off for approval. More sketches for the board books.

How many flavors of jelly can one actually have?

There is seriously too much to do for the time and/or energy that I have to do it in.

I am trying to be a bit more disciplined and use my time wisely and in a more balanced fashion - with varying degrees of success... I have 2 books, a logo and a brochure that all need done ASAP. I'm also trying to spend some time outside getting the garden fall-ready, finish up my projects inside (herbal jellies, syrups, ointments, etc...), plus still 'be there' for the kids and the misc. other things I'm doing.

Such as, Dr. appt.s. I got blood test results this week. The herbal stuff is working - thyroid levels are back to normal. I'd been frustrated about still feeling fatigue, and it turns out that I'm a bit anemic. The good news is that is easy to fix. So hopefully I will be feeling better soon.

I had another gardening-session-in-the-rain - where I finished dividing and replanting my lilies. They lots a large percentage of their leaves in the process - hopefully they'll take root again. Had lots of little tubers that got planted individually. They will either wither and die or I'll have gazillions in the spring. The peonies and Grandpa's pinks are transplanted. The bed expansions have been rototilled. Need more manure to finish up this fall.

Baked banana and zucchini bread. Spelt flour works pretty well - though doesn't seem to bake in the center easily. Want to still make one or two more batches of herbal jelly (basil? lavender? anise hyssop?). Need to get a bunch of things posted on FreeCycle to get out of the family room...

I ended up returning all my herb books to the library - too easy to get sucked in taking notes and never getting to my actual paying projects with deadlines. Will get back to them later.

J and K are currently at a football game. Justin is playing in pep band. Kailin loves going to watch with her friends. They are busy kids. I attended back-to-school night for Justin - my first at the high school. I like most of his teachers. His 'easy' classes are band and Spanish - the rest are college level: Algebra III, AP Chemistry and Honors Humanities (which is both Social Studies and Language Arts). He is also involved in Honor's Society (currently volunteering at one of the local grade-school's chess clubs for service hours), Mock United Nations (he wants to be Israel), and Sophomore Cabinet... I was tired just hearing about the requirements for them all... He is very ambitious, and seems to thrive on the challenge. His Humanities class will be going to Greece and Italy in the spring for a field trip. I think it'd be great if he could go. I sure wish I'd been able to travel when I was that age...

Today I am grateful for:

* Chocolate covered ginger from Trader's Joes
* Herbal Lore
* Fruiting plants (isn't it cool that we can grow our own?)
* Kids who do their homework without being told to
* VCRs - (too many shows on at the same time on Tuesday)
* That I can multi-task - I can work - or computer and keep up on the couple of TV shows I like at the same time
* That my blood test was good
* Book of Mormon in audio form.

Ross - here's another - Hmmmm...

Vocations which we wanted to pursue, but didn't, bleed, like colors, on the whole of our existence.

-Honore de Balzac, novelist (1799-1850)

Welcome to the Present Moment

Adapted from Present Moment Awareness, by Shannon Duncan (New World Library, 2003).

How often are any of us fully in the present moment? Instead of experiencing what Eckhart Tolle calls "the power of now," most of us are instead consumed with possible scenarios (most of them worst-case) for the future, or obsessing about the past.

And yet being fully in the present moment is one of our most powerful keys to living a joyful and peaceful life. Here are two inspiring quotes--one by Albert Einstein and the other by Henry David Thoreau--to help us remember the value of being in the present moment, and a helpful way to experience that moment, now.

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
--Albert Einstein

He is blessed over all mortals who loses no moment of the passing life in remembering the past.
--Henry David Thoreau

We can begin to experience the magic of the present moment when we engage in any ordinary task. Take brushing your teeth, for example. Really notice every aspect of the experience with all your senses: be aware of picking up the toothbrush and squeezing out toothpaste on its bristles. You might notice how it feels to squeeze the tube of toothpaste or how the brush feels in your hand. Is the floor cold on your feet? How does your body feel supporting your weight as you stand there? How does the toothpaste taste? How does it smell? What does it feel like to brush each one of you teeth?

At some point you may catch yourself lost in thought. Don't think of it as making a mistake. It is common for people to become frustrated with themselves when they find that they have been drifting off in daydreams. Remember to always be gentle with yourself. You simply had an opportunity to deepen your understanding of the difference between being in the moment and letting your mind wander. When you become aware of being out of the moment, you are back in the moment. As you bounce back and forth between being in the moment and being lost in thought, you start to learn what being present in your life means.

To realize when you're not present is to understand what it means to be present.

"I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness."

Abraham Maslow
1908-1970, Psychologist


"President David O. McKay counseled: ' "The greatest battle of life is fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.". . . It is a good thing to sit down and commune with yourself, to come to an understanding with yourself and decide in that silent moment what your duty is to your family, to your Church, to your country, and . . . to your fellowmen' (in Conference Report, Apr. 1967)."

OK, I finally got a sec to do this:

7 Things About Me

7 things that I like
1. Autumn (Halloween is still about my favorite holiday)
2. Gardening ? growing all sort of things, especially of the edible or medicinal variety
3. Richly mythological art
4. The darkest chocolate possible
5. Reading
6. Spiritual and philosophical discussions
7. My amazing children

7 important things in my room:
1. My scriptures
2. My leafy, stained-glass reading lamp (we are very good friends)
3. My latest novel
4. My greenman painting
5. Brian Froud and PreRaphealite art
6. Clothes
7. My new MP3 Player with the Book of Mormon on it


7 random things about me:
1. I LOVE to weed like my other female relatives
2. I think live herbs are the coolest thing ever
3. I love filing? Go figure
4. I'm not sure what I would do if I couldn't listen to music
5. I think *everything* is significant?
6. I want to learn to proficiently play the tin whistle
7. I love storms?


7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Live in Ireland (an ongoing summer cottage maybe?)
2. Travel throughout the UK
3. Grow a self-sustaining, permaculture, organic, entirely usable garden -
4. See my children grow up happy, healthy and fulfilled
5. Write and illustrate my own books
6. Discover my mission in life
7. Follow my bliss?


7 things I can do:
1. Read
2. Make nearly anything with my hands
3. Organize stuff
4. Coordinate all of our schedules
5. Read your energy
6. Cook amazing-tasting healthy food
7. Keep trying


7 things I say the most:
1. "Do you have homework?"
2. "PLEASE practice your instrument!"
3. "It's my turn on the computer"
4. "I'll be in the studio?"
5. "I love you"
6. "Your chores for today are?"
7. "What was the best thing that happened to you today?"


7 things I would not do:
1. Body piercing
2. Become a computer tech
3. Hurt anyone or anything intentionally (with the possible exception of bugs in my house)
4. Eat organ meats on purpose!
5. Extreme sports
6. Color my hair pink or wear high, spikey heels
7. Run a marathon

I tag Suzanne, Ross and Dad.

I thought this was an interesting list:

Nine Questions to Change Your Life

Adapted from Radical Simplicity, by Jim Merkel (New Society Publishers, 2003).

These nine thought-provoking questions can help us to assess how healthy our lifestyle is. After all, most of us attempt to create lives lived in balance--with the earth and its resources, and with the non-material aspects of living, as well.

Do you live a life in balance? Are you satisfied with your life? Answer the nine yes-or-no questions and find out:

1. Do I take time for art, poetry, music, dance, or other creative expressions?

2. Am I fair in my relations with other species and other people?

3. Is my life free enough so that I feel chronically unstressed?

4. Am I able to make choices about my life?

5. Do I take full responsibility for the implications of my actions?

6. Is there laughter and fun in my life?

7. Do I take time to care about others? Do I feel cared for?

8. Is there a spark of adventure in my life?

9. Do I take time to explore whatever unseen, spiritual realms call to me?

Ross - I thought this was ironic to show up today: :-)

Rather than imagining that my yearnings are self-centered or counter to the flow of life, I practice simply blossoming in the faith that I attract what I need simply by following and blessing my true nature.

--Julia Cameron

Tempermental computers! @%$#&** As I can, I will try to write about things like the lovely retreat last weekend (no mushrooms). Adventures in herbal treats. Drying and canning. Forthcoming job, etc...

For now, suffice it so say - Conference was pretty terrific today.

Ed made some very yummy chocolate-dipped apricots. Kailin is back in the swing of Youth Symphony rehearsals. Justin enjoyed the ice-cream social after Priesthood this evening.

After the second session I made a pilgrimage to a new-to-me, and fairly incredible, gigantic nursury out in Maltby (about 15 minutes away). It was HUGE, incredibly well-stocked, beautiful, and reasonably priced. And played Enya in the background. Even the parking lots were beautiful - and there were fields, ponds, paths, chickens, ducks and geese, and a farmer's market on site... It nearly brought tears to my eyes.

I did find a few unusual (or not easy to find this time of year) things - society garlic, calamint, a dwarf fruiting quince, and several grapes to 'arbor' the deck with. Very fun.

Came home and worked a bit in the yard - we pulled up the ivy out front, amended with compost and manure and today I transplanted the peonies and pinks there. Still need to move up the sweet woodruff. By now it was thundering and raining quite well. Kailin came out and told me to come in so that I wouldn't get sick. :-) (Ed is always insisting that getting wet from rain is an automatic precursor to pneumonia or something. I think he's related to the Wicked Witch of the West and will actually *MELT* if rain falls on his head...) I dug up all the day lilies before going inside (apparently you are supposed to dig up and divide every few years. Mine are more scraggly than I'd like - I'm hoping that if I amend the soil, divide and replant a bit further off from the fence (more sunshine!) that they will be happier this upcoming year. ESPECIALLY since day lilies are one of those fun, edible flowers! Mine are not my favorite flavor (darker colored ones are yummier to me), but I'd like *more* of them to experiment with. The amending and dividing will be a job for Monday if it's not too rainy...

After a nice hot shower so that I wouldn't die from pneumonia, I ate a bit of dinner and watched an anime on the computer whilst filing. (Ross - "Vampire Hunter D" - not particularly recommended). That's a nice way to do it - time flies by, with a good amount of filing done.

Want a couple more chocolate apricots before bed!

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday.
Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this: "I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on
both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've ! learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."